Weigh in Wednesday

Good Morning, weight loss bloggers and blog readers!  Today’s weigh in results are not surprising.  +1.  It’s possible that by tomorrow that would have been a +/- 0 but it doesn’t really matter.  I’m actually not too disappointed.  I know that I still have some excess water lurking in there, and I expect next Wednesday to bring good news.

I had a moment of fear this week.  It happened, I think, on Sunday.  I was worried I was done.  Now, I know that no one but me makes the choice to be done or not, but in my last weight loss effort, I got to about 30 lbs lost and went on vacation and failed to get back into my routine.  I don’t know why I didn’t “just do it” and force myself back on.  It just didn’t happen. 

With this shake up of my current routine, with extra cookies being given to me right and left…I don’t know.  I was a little bit scared that this would be the end.  I would not be able to get back on track again and it was all over.  As I said in a previous post, I kept repeating to myself that I will only fail if I quit…but I was a little shaken.

The last 2 days have been very good.  I have not touched a cookie.  I have not gone over 1200 calories (and to be sure, I counted all of them, even the ones I don’t usually count).  I have been drinking water like crazy.  I have been almost overdoing things in my fear of losing control.

I am feeling good now though.  Even with this uptick.  I know that all I did was have a couple of days where I ate more carbs (it was quite a bit more) than usual, plus more sodium and sugar.  All that together caused a temporary spike and we are seeing the end of that right now.  I did not go over my calories by much.  I certainly didn’t go over my maintenance calories for my current weight, so I know I didn’t gain fat.  I have also been doing more weight training, so it’s possible I have gained muscle mass.  I have seen NSVs over the last couple of weeks and that is what really matters.  The number on the scale is secondary, I know.  What I really care about is what I look like, not necessarily what the number on the scale says.  I think I am more or less going for a size 8…whatever weight that happens to be for me. 

I guess what I’m saying is I’m feeling pretty good right now.  I’m a little upset that I didn’t blog my fear 2 days ago…isn’t that what this blog was for?  To blog about all of my experiences?  I guess I was afraid of what you all would think.  That you’d think I was a quitter, and you’d be annoyed that I would even have thoughts like that so early in the game.  I know it’s lame to be worried about that with a few lbs of temporary weight gain…I guess that’s why I didn’t mention it. 

Maybe it’s because it IS so early on…I’m not confident in my own ability to continue and conquer.  Actually I think that’s it…it’s not the setback that worried me, it was my fear that I wouldn’t be able to continue in spite of it.  I’ve seen that I can continue on happily when I have success, but when things get the tiniest bit weird…well I haven’t had as much experience with that so I don’t know what is going to happen. 

Well…let this be a lesson to me.  I hope the next time I don’t worry about it as much.  I hope if I do, I will go ahead and blog it instead of holding it in.

Raise your water glasses, people, I’m proposing a toast to the next 7 days, and the fabulous new low that I will report next Wednesday!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. bd160
    Dec 30, 2010 @ 01:12:22

    +1 is not bad at all, especially considering the holiday! And I completely understand the fear of continuing and conquering — I have that same fear whenever I stumble and start to fall off the wagon. We can ratchet up our willpower though and stick to it — I will if you will! 😀

    I raise my glass with you to the next 7 days and your fabulous new low!!!


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