The title of the post before the last one (the one about the food tv) brought me some….unsavory visitors.  Oopsie!  Needless to say, I fixed the problem and hopefully I don’t get any more spam.  This is why new commenters have to be approved…I saved you all from some very…well…interesting material. 

Yesterday was a really hard day.  I don’t know what it was.  Tom?  Hormones?  Something.  I was extra, extra munchy.  It started with a bowl of cereal.  I typically don’t even buy cereal.  It’s not good nutrition and I don’t like the way I feel after eating it, so I don’t give it to my kids to eat.  I normally make them a good breakfast that I hope will keep them full, sharp, and focused through their morning at school.  As a treat, I had bought some cereal and I gave it to them for breakfast yesterday.  It was a kind that I really like too though and I figured that since I hadn’t had any in….gosh….6 months or so….that I could have some, too.

So I had some, but as usual, it left me hungry a little while later.  So I made the worst mistake I could have made and stopped at the drive thru for my favorite breakfast treat which I also have not had in 6 weeks or so.  I knew it wasn’t worth it, I knew it would be a mistake….but I figured it would be okay.

Normally after eating that, I’m not hungry at lunch time and calorie wise, it all evens out.  Normally my calories for the day are between 500 and 600 after I am done with lunch, so it works out the same (even though I know it’s not the same, the drive thru food is bad bad bad and my usual break fast and lunch are faaaar more healthy).  So as usual, I wasn’t hungry at lunch time so I skipped lunch. 

But then in the afternoon, I had the horrible munchies.  You know the kind, where you find yourself constantly looking into the fridge or the pantry and then walking away empty handed, but coming back every few minutes?  I don’t know what my problem was, but I just wanted to EAT all day long!

And that is pretty much what I ended up doing.  Hubs offered me half of his bagel and I took it.  Not satisfied, I ate a dried fruit bar (figuring at least I would be getting some fruit in).  A little while later, it was string cheese.  A while after that, I shared a pouch of those itty bitty muffins with Kid3.  A while later I NEEDED another piece of string cheese.  Then when my kids came home from school around 4, I had a taste of their snack.

Then I started to panic.  I was freaking out.  I had a conversation with a friend online about it and I was in full panic mode.  I admitted to her that I was *this* close to giving in to “I’ve blown it” syndrome and ordering a pizza and chowing down.  I brought up my outlook calendar and was horrified to see how close my final weigh in for my contest is.  I felt like throwing up.  I was scared to put all this into my daily plate log, but I did, and found that the damage was not as bad as I thought.  Aside from being more carbs than I normally eat, and the extremely poor use of calories, it wasn’t THAT bad.  I was over the number of calories I normally eat by a teeny bit, but it wasn’t the extreme overage that I had pictured in my head.

Dinner was squash soup, and even though I wasn’t hungry, I ate some of it because it is pretty low calorie and packed with veggies.  I felt very yucky afterward, though.  My stomach is just not used to having something in it all day.  I realize a lot of people eat this way and like it…small amounts frequently…but my tummy likes to have 3 meals.  Grazing is not for me.

After things settled down, I went to the gym and did some jogging.  I did the same thing I did the other night, I walked .25 miles, then jogged .75, then walked again.  I intended to jog the last .25 to make it a full mile, but for some reason my chest was all tight and I couldn’t breathe.  I don’t know what is up with that, I’ve never had asthma but that’s what it was like.  I started to jog the last .25 but between that and the little tinge of pain I felt in my knee, I let it go.  I need to respect my knees, after all I am still very fat.  If I want them to be good to me and allow me to jog, I need to be good to them and listen when they say it’s time to quit.  I’m not nearly as sore as I was after my first run, so that is a huge positive!  I walked the rest of the time I was there, and I’m not beating myself up over it.

So no jogging today.  As soon as I am done here, I’m going to load up a workout video from netflix.  If you have netflix, you should try it.  I stream them to my tv and work out 🙂  Then I think I’ll do a little yoga.

Even after yesterday’s freakout, the scale was gentle to me today.  According to it, I am officially down 30 lbs today.  I put my workout clothes on and shoes so I could simulate a weigh in at the Y, and it added 2 lbs.  If that number were my official Y weigh in number, I would have lost 15 lbs for the contest, or about 5%.  Their scale has weighed me lighter than mine in the past though, so I’m thinking that according to their scale it will be more like 6-7%…hopefully they use the same, super nice scale.  That’s a lot of weight to lose over the holidays!  Even if I don’t win, I think that is awesome.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Karen Ogle
    Jan 07, 2011 @ 12:01:08

    I so understand the munching thing. Until yesterday that had been my pattern every night. Not eating all day but then eating everything in sight at night. I am going to show a gain this week even though I’m back on track now. It serves me right though. I have no excuses. I just didn’t try hard enough to say no the the junk I thought I wanted. I did it even though I felt sick later. Hopefully, a few days back on track will give me some will-power to say no when the temptations rise again.


  2. Kimberly
    Jan 07, 2011 @ 20:58:58

    Sugar and high carby foods does that to me. The cereal done did you in.

    The good thing is that you didn’t dive into the pizza and remained on track. We all have good days and bad days. The thing in the end is that we learn from the bad days so when they come around again we can deal with them easier.


  3. bd160
    Jan 08, 2011 @ 01:50:28

    Congratulations on 30 lbs gone! And great job on not snapping, and stopping before you reached the “screw it” point. You were able to hold on, even though it felt like it was only by the fingernails — way to be strong! 🙂


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