The one where I struggle


First I want to say that I am owning my responsibility in all of this.  I’m no complaining about it, or saying that this happened “to” me.  I realize that I am the one that did it.  It was my choice.  So this isn’t a “woe is me” type post.  I do write those sometimes, but they’re usually about situations in my life that I have a little less control over.  I am merely writing about this situation here to record it for posterity, and to keep my blog honest.  When I started this blog, I set out to document my journey, and leaving out the bad parts wouldn’t be fair.  Besides, when I am at my goal weight, reading back over my posts of everything it took to get me there, I want to read about the bad times as well as the good. 

I committed the biggest….I don’t even know what to call it… screw-up?  That’s not the phrase I want to use, but this is a family blog here…so I try to keep it nice.  Anyway, it was a disaster.

Hubster was out of town.  This is stressful for me, and I am a stress eater.  I was on plan the entire time he was gone except for one evening – and that was enough.  It is stressful to me when I have to run my entire household single-handed.   Hubster and I usually use a divide and conquer strategy when dealing with the kids, so when I am alone, things are very different.  I will admit that I have it easy most of the time.  Really easy.  Hubs is very involved with just about every aspect of our family life.  He does at least  half, which is a lot considering he is here half as much as I am.  As I type this, he is doing the dishes (while I play on my computer).

Anyway, he was gone and I was on plan the whole time until wednesday night.  It’s traditional for us to order pizza one night when he goes out of town.  It gives me a break from cooking, and I usually do okay with it.

Not this time.

To make a long story short, I ate more pizza than I should have.  It was more than I have eaten in months.  My meals have gotten fairly small over the last 3 months.  This meal was not as small.  My stomach felt awful.  I was stuffed, and I have not felt that feeling in a long time.  I’m sure it takes less to make me feel that way now (which is good!) but still.  It was really uncomfortable.

To make matters worse, this pizza was somehow particularly high in sodium.  Everyone was really thirsty after eating it, including me.  That usually doesn’t happen to me.  I’ve heard of people getting thirsty after eating a lot of sodium, but it’s never happened to me.  Well this time it did.  I was CRAZY thirsty.

Can it get worse?  Yes, it can.  I had more pizza for breakfast the next day (yesterday).   I didn’t eat too much, I just one piece, but that was enough.  My stomach complained.  My insides felt like they were full of sludge.  My intestines were in a state of riot.  My system was in distress.

To give my poor stomach a rest, I did not eat again until dinner, not even a snack.  At dinner, I had a small bowl of chili.  I figured the fiber would do me some good and the sodium wasn’t too awful because it’s homemade so I know exactly what went into it.

Part 2 of my plan to exorcise the pizza demon was to drink water like there was no tomorrow.  I set a timer for 10 minutes and every 10 minutes, I drank 16 oz of water.   My whole afternoon went like this:

Drink water, fill brita pitcher, do laundry (or some other cleaning task), drink water, fill pitcher, cleaning task, drink water……and on and on.  I don’t know how much I drank.  I just kept going.  I normally try to drink a lot of water, 100 oz plus, but this was more than that, I’m sure.

Later, when I ran up the stairs for something, I felt something strange.  My legs were swollen with fluid.  I don’t know if you’re experienced that…but when I was pregnant it happened to me a lot.  My legs feel weird when they have a lot of edema going on…almost like the skin on them is tight or something.  I could feel it as I went up the stairs. 

I checked the scale.  Amazing.  I was 10ish lbs heavier than I had been the day before.  And I could tell it was all in my legs.

I kept drinking, but I slowed down a little.

Today I stepped on the scale again.  I am nearly down to my wednesday weigh in weight.  So, I’m thankful for that.

You don’t need to tell me not to panic.  I’m not.  I will be fine.  As far as calories go, I knew I was having pizza on wednesday, so I did leave some room in my weekly calories for it and yesterday I didn’t eat much at all.  Today is going to be just like any other day, on plan and fine.  It’s going to be fine, I just wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t put it out there.

So there it is.

Going to take the dog for a walk now!


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