Weigh in Wednesday (and an announcement)

– 2.  I can’t explain it.  Yesterday’s weigh in was -1.  Maybe it was the water I’ve been dumping down my throat with gusto.  Maybe it’s the fiber I’ve been taking.  Maybe it’s the fact that I went swimming yesterday.  I find that my weight goes down after swimming.  Sure it burns a lot of calories, but I think it has more to do with the water.  Immersing my body in water helps it to release excess fluid?

Maybe.

I can tell you what it wasn’t.  It was NOT my little freak out yesterday afternoon.  See, after Wednesday’s pizza disaster, I had been behaving.  Sticking to my calories.  Working the program.  Until yesterday.  See, I had gotten a bag of peanut butter MMs from a relative as a gift.  She knows they are my favorite, so around every holiday she gets me a bag.  This bag was for valentines day.  Yup, she is on the ball (unlike me, the procrastinator).  Anyway, I figured a couple wouldn’t hurt anything, so I had a few.  Maybe 5.  Nothing wrong with that. 

Then my kids came home and I doled out the snacks.  I decided I needed a granola bar.  Then I needed some crackers.  Then a package came for them from my dad, and it was FULL of candy.  I let them eat it, hoping it would be gone before I could eat it…but he’d sent malted milk balls…I have not had those in forever.  I took a couple from each kid’s stash.

Then we had dinner.  Chili.  We always make our own, and it’s pretty weight-loss-friendly.  I make it with ground turkey and it has lots of tomatoes and beans and stuff, and less meat than the recipe calls for.  That’s how I like it anyway.  This is exactly the way we ate it while I was getting fat, too.  With one major exception.  The fritos that go in the bottom.  When I started losing weight, I stopped putting fritos in the bottom.  At first it was difficult to eat it without them.  I was so used to that texture.  It took some getting used to.

Anyway, last night I finally did it.  The thing I have been avoiding for months.  I threw up my hands and said “screw it” and put some fritos in my bowl.  Secretly in the back of my mind, I was also planning to hit the drive thru after dinner.

I KNOW!  You are probably all throwing up a little.  You want to know how I could fall so hard?

Thankfully, even when these thoughts were clouding my mind, I knew I had a safety net.  I knew that eating a bowl of chili after all the crap I had snacked on was going to have me stuffed and that would stop me from going to the drive thru.  It wouldn’t have in the past, but I knew it would be okay. 

I went to the gym and swam for nearly an hour, instead of hitting my favorite drive thru.  It has now been almost 4 months since I did that sneaky after dinner drive thru thing.  I do not want to break my streak.

Actually, I do not want to EVER do that again.

But you see, even after months of doing the right things, all it takes is a little teeny thing to send me snowballing all the way back to Go.  More like Jail, DO NOT PASS GO.  Scary.

So.  I can’t explain my 2 lbs loss.  I could explain a smaller one by saying that I was mostly good…but whatever.  I’ll still take it.

Now for the announcement.  You were kind enough to wade through all of that because you want to know.  I heard from the Y today, and they informed me that I did win their contest.  To make a longish story short, the prize was not what I expected.  The advertisements for the contest did not make it clear that the grand prize of a year’s free membership was for the winner between all 4 of the Y’s in the area.  That makes more sense, but they didn’t make it clear.  The winner from each center got a free 1 month family membership, which is what I go.

So, I beat out everyone at my center who participated, and I suspect our center has the highest attendance because it’s the nicest one.  I’m really excited that I won.  Will I do it next year (really this year)?  Maybe.  If I continue to lose and don’t give up, I will be getting close to the end of the weight loss portion of my journey…so I won’t have much chance at winning.  We’ll see.

*I know what you are all DYING to say.  You’re probably all getting cramps in your mouse fingers tripping over yourselves to hit the comment button to tell me the following:

  1. Tell this relative to STOP GIVING YOU M&Ms.  I know.  I have not acknowledged my weight loss to my family yet and I’m not planning on it anytime soon.  I don’t know why.  I feel like this would out me and I’m not ready.
  2. THEN THROW THEM OUT!  I know.  But every time, I feel like I can control them.  After all, I have a bag of chocolate chips in my cabinet that I never touch.  If I can handle that chocolate in my house, why not this other kind?  I really thought I could make it work this time.  I was wrong.  Next time, if I haven’t gotten up the guts to tell her not to send me any, I will send them to work with Hubster.
  3. “Tell your dad not to send your kids candy.  It’s not good for them anyway!”  I know.  I have.  He does it anyway.  He lives very far away and he likes to send them stuff in order to feel more connected to them I guess…like he is spoiling them.  One time I didn’t give them all the candy he sent, only a bit of it.  He found out and was really mad at me.  Now when he sends them stuff, he calls to talk to them and asks them if they got everything (he lists it out).  Yes, I DO have control over what comes into my house and whether my kids get to scarf it down, but  it’s a complex family situation that I don’t want to get into.   I have asked him to not do that and he does it anyway so I will really have to work on not eating it when it comes, and trying to teach them to not eat it all up  asfastastheycan.

It sounds like I am making excuses, but really I’m not trying to defend my MM eating.  I am not ready for those yet and I won’t open another bag of those in my house for a loooooong time.  Lesson learned.  The thing with my dad is tricky.  You’ll have to take my word for it I guess.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jenn @ Watch My Butt Shrink!
    Feb 05, 2011 @ 16:00:09

    I think you’re being WAY too hard on yourself. You had some chocolate and some fritos! Big deal! You did not “fall hard”. You had an off day – happens to EVERYONE. No biggie!
    I’m sure you’re back to your better eating habits now, right? It’s just a blip on the big screen, baby – don’t sweat the small stuff.

    Reply

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