Being Outted

Yesterday, I was the same weight as I was Wednesday.  Today I was 1.5 lighter.  So I guess it wasn’t a fluke.  Weird. 

Now that I’ve said that, it’s going to be really embarrassing if I show a higher weight on Wednesday…

I’m having some anxiety about this weekend.  Sunday in particular.

I’m worried about being outted.  Seriously worried about it.  I have family coming over and although they have seen me about once a month since I started, I’m afraid this is going to be the time when they say something.  I don’t want them to.  I don’t know why.  Why do I not want anyone to say anything?  Why is it that, if they do, I will steadfastly deny having lost any weight?  I have a couple of theories.

  1. Fear of failure.  I’m afraid if I admit to losing weight, I will regain it and everyone will think to themselves “I knew that was going to happen.”  Isn’t that what happens to 95% of dieters anyway?
  2. I want to put them on the spot.  I want them to feel embarrassed.  Like I am turning the tables on them when they ask as if to say “Why, do you think I am fat?”  Maybe I just want someone besides me to be embarrassed about my fat for once.
  3. Maybe I am just being rebellious.  Maybe I am just being contrary.  Many people would love to have people notice their 40 lbs weight loss…so maybe I just have to buck the trend?
  4. Maybe I don’t want anyone judging my food choices.  I have read many blogs where the author’s family knows about their weight loss, so gives them lots of unsolicited advice and funny looks if they eat something they don’t deem to be “diet friendly”.

I don’t know.  Either way, I really hope no one says anything.

The other thing that is causing me a little bit of anxiety is the food.  I have been informed of all the snacks that Hubster’s mom is planning to bring.  Sounds like quite a spread.  I’m going to have to keep my fingers out of it.  Some of it is things I don’t even like, and I really want to break into the next “decade” so I’m hoping that will keep me focused.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Karen Ogle
    Feb 04, 2011 @ 14:57:37

    I think the more you stress over it the harder it will be. You should just let it go and not worry about it. Cross that bridge when it happens. If you are tense the whole time they are there, wondering if they will say anything, you will probably give yourself away that SOMETHING is up anyway. Don’t be superstitious that if someone says anything that will jinx you. That only happens if you BELIEVE it will happen. I wish you the best.:)

    Reply

  2. Twiggy
    Feb 04, 2011 @ 15:29:30

    LOL if I act weird they will probably assume I am pregnant 😉

    I am not. Nor will I be. Ever.

    Reply

  3. Jenn @ Watch My Butt Shrink!
    Feb 05, 2011 @ 16:34:43

    I know how you feel about not wanting to talk about it. I think for me its because then it draws attention to my FAT. Everyone starts looking at you, and I just want to be like everyone else, you know?
    As far as the snacks, why not choose 2 or 3 that you really want, have a little bit of each (tracking them of course), and then you won’t feel deprived or left out?

    Reply

  4. Twiggy
    Feb 05, 2011 @ 18:46:03

    Looking at the list of things that people are bringing, most of it is uninteresting to me…so that shouldn’t be too hard 🙂

    Reply

  5. The Fat Mom
    Feb 06, 2011 @ 14:10:36

    Oh, I totally understand this and can relate to all the reasons why not to tell your family! I say it’s nobody’s damn business but yours. If you don’t want to tell them, then don’t. Good luck trying to keep your fingers out of the yummy spread. That will probably be the hardest thing to do (or it would be for me!).

    Reply

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