twoadays rock. Just sayin.

Yesterday, I decided to go for another twoaday.  Cardio in the morning, and then weights in the evening.  My eating was spot on, and I felt great, so I went for it.

The first thing I did was try to get a little jog in.  I have not tried jogging in quite a while because my left knee can be a bit of a stick in the mud, but since I am doing the warrior dash in only a few weeks now, I figured I better see how it goes.  I hopped on the treadmill and walked for a few minutes, then stepped off and tried to limber my knees up as best as I could before hopping back on and going for it.

Since all I really wanted to do was warm up before weight lifting and I had already done cardio for the day, I chose to run for 10 minutes at a pretty slow pace.  It went really well.  No complaints from the knee department.  I’m hoping if I warm them up right, I will avoid injury as much as possible.

For my ‘regular’ morning cardio, I usually hop on the elliptical.  I know I should cross train and try something else like the bikes or something, but I just really like the elliptical.  I like that the body motions are similar to running without the stress on my knees and feet, and I hope that somehow it is helping me prepare for the day when I can run for real (in about 80 lbs?).  Up until very recently, I had been doing steady-state cardio on it.  I set the incline on 10 and the resistance on 7 and just stay at that level the whole time.  It has been fun watching my average strides per minute go up :). 

Lately I have taken to doing intervals on the elliptical.  Mine are 4 minutes per “set” of low and high intensity.  For 2 minutes the ramp sits on a fairly low level and I go somewhat easy.  Then when it goes up to the higher incline (the resistance stays the same), I push HARD.  For 2 minutes I go as fast and hard as I can without tipping the machine over!  Then when the 2 minutes is up, the incline goes back down and I go easy and let my heart rate recover.

The time goes by much faster when I do this, and it really gets me sweating! 

Anyway, back to yesterday.  I did a little bit of running and then did weights for 35 minutes or so, I wasn’t really timing it.  I worked every muscle group, and that took a long time.  I know some people like to do arms one day and legs another day, but I kinda like to mix it up and do some arm stuff, then some leg stuff while my arms rest a little, then back to arms, then finish the legs.  It would probably help if I was more organized…right now you would just see me wandering around the weights looking lost ;).

Yesterday I took in about 1200 calories and burned off about 600.  I know there is no way to REALLY know how many calories one burns, but that is my best estimate.  I arrived at that by taking the estimate the cardio machines give me and knocking about 1/3 off because I think they overestimate my calorie burnage.  So for example if the machine tells me I burned 425 calories, I call it 300.  Then I consulted livestrong to find out how many calories I might have burned while lifting weights, and took some off that as well.  I don’t want to overestimate how many calories I burn and use it as free license to eat stuff so I am pretty careful about that.  So I netted about 600 calories in yesterday and my RMR is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 2000, so it was a pretty good day. 

Buuuuut all this super fun working out has a caveat.  The scale.  Building muscle and retaining extra fluids to aid in muscle repair shows when I step on the scale and it stubbornly stays at the same number it was on 2 weeks ago.  I suppose I could just stop working out and just starve myself and I would see that number dropping…but you know, it’s not really worth it to me to see lower numbers and have it really be as much lost muscle as anything else.  I will take my strong body over a lower scale number any day.   It’s times like this when I wish I did measurements though.




I am in pain!

Yesterday, I did my first twoaday, meaning I went to the gym twice in one day.  I did cardio in the morning and weights in the evening.  I worked every muscle that wasn’t already screaming from my previous workout.  I am working hard to get ready for my warrior dash! 

The problem is my triceps.  They are really aching, and his is the third day!  When I originally worked them, I had no sense that I was overdoing it.  I knew I was lifting heavy, but I honestly didn’t think I did too much.  Considering how much they still hurt today, it’s going to be at least 2 more days, maybe more, before they feel better.

All this is going to kill my weigh in.  I have noticed that when I have sore muscles, my weight goes up.  Extra water around them, helping them heal and stuff.  Whatever.  I don’t much care except that it’s nice after you’ve had a full week on plan to…you know…see results on the scale.  I’m starting to not care much about that.  I have gone through times where I have been pretty scale obsessed, but right now I am feeling more results oriented.  I don’t care if I stay this same weight forever as long as my clothing size keeps getting smaller ;). 

So, I will weigh in for record keeping purposes, but I don’t expect a loss.  If I have one…that’s great.  If not, I’ll live.  I KNOW I am doing the right things.  I feel amazing!  I have never in my life had the energy to go to the gym twice a day.  My body doesn’t quite match the way I feel, and I am not down to my previous low  from february, but I’m getting there.  I am only 6 lbs away, so that could happen in as little as 2 weeks.  By the end of this month I’ll be at a new low, and that feels pretty good, too :).

Whatcha gonna do?

As I creep closer and closer to the -50 lbs mark, I have given some thought to what I will do to celebrate.  Obviously, going out to eat at the Olive Garden is out ;).   For the more mathematically challenged of you, when I get to 270 I will have lost 50 lbs.  So, that could happen this week (you never know) but probably next week.  So, we’re getting close.

I am not much for rewards, I hate spending money on myself.  Getting my hair done is a treat, but I do that a couple of times a year anyway.  It’s just hard for my to do anything for me.  Here is what I decided to do when I hit -50 lbs.

  1. Get rid of clothes that are bigger than 2xl.  I have a few things that are 3-4x (omg!).  Those are being donated.
  2. Spend $50 on new clothes.

I know.  $50 isn’t a lot when we’re talking about clothes, but I like 50 lbs = $50, and I will have a hard time spending more than that…like I said, I hate spending money on me.  Really I only need some new shirts.  It’s still not warm enough to wear anything but pants here and we’ve got another month of that.  I have some capris that I bought ahead (size 20) that fit me okay now, but in a month when I can actually wear them they will fit very nicely.  I have another pair that I can get away with for a while and that will take me into shorts season.  I will need new shorts, but I won’t buy those til we get closer…I’m afraid I’ll buy something now and it’ll be baggy by May.  So $50 for some new shirts and since I like simple clothes and shop the sales, I should be able to get a handful of them and it will feel like I really splurged.

That’s the plan.

The other night I tried on all my pants just for fun.  I was a little disappointed that they all still fit me more or less.  The biggest ones I have are size 24 and none of them were falling off me.  If I walked around in them I would have to constantly hike them up, but still.  I was hoping that almost 50 lbs in I would have SOMETHING that would just slide off me when I put it on.  Oh well.  The pants I wear now are size 22 but I am holding them up with a belt shoelace.  Yes.  You remember how my belt did not survive long…I needed SOMETHING to hold my pants up.  This shoelace does the trick and no one sees it anyway.  I know, it’s sad.  Soon I will shrink into one of my “real” belts and I can put my shoelace away.

I have picked out my “before” clothing item.  You know, the one that a year from now I will stand in with both legs down one leg and the waist will be twice my size?  It’s a pair of shorts that I bought 2 summers ago.  Ironically, they’re not my largest by the numbers, but by the fit, they are the biggest.  They are nearly sliding off me when I put them on.  those I will save.  Just for fun I tried to put both legs down one side of these shorts, and I fit.  It was like wearing a skin tight denim skirt, but I never thought I would be able to do that. 

Take it easy, folks, and have a good weekend!

Weigh in Wednesday

– 1 today. 

I worked out every day last week except Sunday, I just took that day off.  One of the days, Hubster was gone so I had to make do at home, but I managed (thank you, Netflix!).  It’s possible I only lost 1 lb because of that, body adjusting to more workouts, etc.  I think it’s more likely that the problem was that I still have not started counting calories faithfully again.  I really need to do that.  Really.  I counted yesterday and the day before, so I am trying to get back on the horse with that one, but we all know how it goes when you say you’re “trying” to do something.  It’s like Yoda said, “Do or do not.  There is no try.”  He was right. 

I will leave you with a picture of a shirt I tried on today.  I thought my boobs looked insane in this shirt and it didn’t fall on my the way it’s “supposed” to…but I thought I would ask what you all think.  So, whatcha think?  I actually tried on a few shirts but the one I was specifically interested in…well they didn’t have my size.  They didn’t have one SMALL enough.  I never thought I would say that.

putting things in perspective

Most days, even though logically I know I have lost a significant (yet not sufficient) amount of weight, I still feel like 100% of the woman I used to be.  I still feel fat.  I feel HUGE.  Every bit as fat as I was in October when I started. 

When I look in the mirror, I see a fat person (I am still fat, after all) so I just automatically assume I am the same fat person.  Yes, I am hard on myself.  My friend told me today that I am TOO hard on myself.   She told me to focus on what I have accomplished.  My mind always goes back to “well if I am so great, WHY DID I LET THIS HAPPEN?”

I think on the days when I feel like a total flop, and like I weigh 320 pounds again and this was all a dream, I need to look at these.

This picture was taken in August of 2010.  I don’t even know why I am posting this picture.  It’s horrible.  It makes me want to cry.  Not because that day was a horrible, stressful day (you wouldn’t know it by the picture though!) but…I mean…look at me.   This is not the kind of picture you frame and put over the fireplace.  This picture fills me with shame.  This picture makes me hate me.   My face looks happy in this picture, but if you adjust your screen so that you can’t see my head at all, what you’re left with is just a blob of disgusting.

This one was taken in September.  I know because we’re holding a quilt that I made for a relative for their wedding gift.  I’m the one on the left.  It’s not a great view of me, but I think you can get the picture.  I had it in my head that I would lose x amount of weight before this wedding.  I did not lose a single pound.  Lots of pictures were taken at that wedding and I look awful in every one.  I wasn’t wearing this outfit, I had on a dress and believe me, I looked like crap in it.

This is as close to a “before” picture as I have.  This picture was taken mid October 2010 which is when I started.  In fact, this was probably one of my first days on plan.  I remember because we were touring a facility and I knew it was going to be a lot of walking so I took some pills that I knew would give me boundless energy.  As a side effect, they also took away my appetite entirely.  I don’t think I ate more than 600 calories that day.  I think I thought “hey, this could be the start of something” and went from there.  I have lost an average of 2.2 lbs per week since this picture was taken.  That slide was a lot of fun.  Too bad this picture of me having such a great time makes me feel so bad about myself.   I have a HUGE smile on my face in this picture.  I think I am actually laughing.  To me, that is all lost when me eyes move from my face to…..the rest of me.

Then there is this picture.  The most current picture of me that exists on the planet.  Still fat, yes…but making progress.  It’s just hard to remember that sometimes because the mirror doesn’t show me before pictures…all I see is Fat Twiggy, day in and day out.  I forget the differences.  I think sometimes I feel like I need to take myself down a peg or two…something like “hey, don’t get cocky, you are still FAT.  This isn’t over.”  Not that I think it is or ever will be over, but there will come a time when I am done with the weight loss portion of this journey.

The point at which I have decided I will re-evaluate my goals is 180 lbs.  I know that sounds high but remember I have a larger % of muscle mass than most women (yes, doctors have said this) so I really couldn’t begin to guess what 180 will look like on me.  It struck me yesterday that I no longer have more than 100 lbs to go before I get there.  It used to be, when I would think about getting there, it seemed so impossible.  It was 140 lbs.  A whole person.  I couldn’t imagine it.  Now it’s under 100 lbs.  It’s still a lot, but to me it just feels better to know that it’s less than 100.    I may decide to continue past 180…I won’t know til I get there.

I did some quick measurements today.  Since I started, I have lost nearly 3 inches in each of my thighs.  My neck has gone down about 1.5 inches.  My waist is harder because I can never find the same spot, but as near as I can tell I have lost 3-4 inches there.

Progress pics are still in the works.  We are passing the flu around in my house so I’ve been busy either being sick or taking care of people who are sick…but I will get that done soon.

Tomorrow is the big day

Weigh in Wednesday, yet again!

Guess what’s in my toaster oven?  A Pinewood Derby car!  I know…not what you expected, but at least I can’t eat that!

Around here, I am the pwd expert.  So when it comes time for my son’s cub scout derby, I am the parent that helps with that.  I have a little wood putty in it right now , so I just have it on “warm” so it dries a little faster for me.  I need to apply the lead weights and fill the rest of it before he gets home, so he can finish the sanding and hopefully we get to some painting tonight!

Back to weight loss…

Things have been going pretty…normal.  Eating…drinking….working out (a little bit)…sleeping….lather, rinse, repeat. 

I will admit.  I don’t work out as often as I could.  I go maybe 3 times a week.  Maybe.  Most weeks, it’s more like 2.  I realize this is sub-standard.  I realize this will not see me through to my goal.  I do.  The thing is, I am losing at a rate that is not to shabby right now even without it.  I am not stressed about it right now…when my rate of loss slows, I will pick it up.

NSV – Today I went to teach computers at the preschool and they had beaten me up to the computer lab.  It’s 3 floors up from where their classroom is, and I raced to catch up with them.  I’ve done that before…and been horribly out of breath when I get to the top.  Now I can run up all those stairs without any problems.  I can get in there and talk to them right away without having to spend a couple of minutes huffing and puffing 🙂

Stay tuned for weigh in tomorrow!

Just buy a belt!

This is what Hubster said to me yesterday after I explained to him why I am almost always wearing my yoga pants at home.  I had taken a shower and reappeared downstairs and, in spite of having wet hair,  and a different shirt on, he said “You were up there all that time and didn’t even take a shower?”  He only noticed my really cool pink yoga pants.

I explained to him that I don’t like wearing my jeans in the house because even my smallest pair is constantly falling down.  I hate having to hike my pants up all the time.  I have one pair of jeans that fits me pretty well except for the waist…well actually I think it’s my lack of waist that is the problem.  If my fat belly would just slip down a little tiny bit…. Anyway, my pants are always falling down and it drives me nuts.

I had a belt to remedy this, but it was a cheapo piece of crap that came with a pair of shorts I bought a couple of years ago.  You may remember a post from a  few weeks ago in which I had to cut the end off because it was in such bad shape.  The remaining length was pretty short and it was a little bit snug.  I guess all the pressure got to it, the damn thing snapped at the hole I was using the other day.  Now I have no belt.

So yesterday I went into the store to get a new belt.  One problem.  Even the 2XL belts were too short.  Where do they sell belts for fat people?  I need to hold up my pants.  They’re 22’s and I can get some 20’s on, but they are a bit too tight for my liking.

Oh crap, I forgot to tell you about that!  So the other night I was out shopping and I decided to try on a pair of 20’s just to see where we were at.  I had been looking over the clearance racks and I found this pair of tan capris that were on clearance for $4.20 (90% off!) and they were a size 20, so I picked them up to try on.  I figured I would buy them anyway, even though I am not much of a capri person.  For that price, they could even be something I just wear on laundry day or something.  For good measure, I also picked up a regular pair of jeans in a size 20.

Once in the dressing room, I thought back to the last time I tried on a pair of 20’s, just 2 weeks or so ago.  It hadn’t gone well.  I picked up the jeans and stepped into them.  My thigh went all the way in.  I wasn’t too impressed though, because usually the snag is when I try to put my other leg in and hoist them up to my waist.  They usually get stuck at my upper thigh/hip area.  To my surprise, these went right up.  I had to suck it in a little, but they even buttoned and zipped.  I was very pleased.  Then I got doubtful.  Maybe this was the dreaded vanity sizing.  I stripped them off.  Then I remembered I had another pair of 20’s in there with me.  Different style, different brand.  I tried those one too.

They also fit…with a bit of sucking in at the end.

So I guess I’m almost down a size or two.  Depends on whether I was a 24 or a 26 to start.  I say 24, but some of those were getting tight…so who knows.

I know

I sound ungrateful.  I should be happy that my clothes don’t fit.  I was just unprepared to look…not so great today.  I was expecting to look in the mirror and be happy.  After all, I have lost a significant amount of weight (and I will show you something cool with regard to that in a couple more pounds).  I just was surprised is all…and not in a good way.  I could have put on a different shirt that would have looked better, but at that point I had to leave to go to a mom coffee group thing so I just let it go…even though my shirt looked like a maternity shirt.

It has been suggested that I should hit up the thrift stores.  I’m dubious about this…I’m not sure if I will find anything but old, stretched-out clothes there.  I was thinking of going there to check and see if they had any jeans in the next size down just so I can keep trying some on to gauge my progress with them since I don’t like to do measurements.  I might still do that, and if I do I will check out the tops.

Non scale…wait…what?!

I think it’s supposed to say victory.

I think I’m supposed to be feeling victorious.

I don’t.

This morning I stepped on the scale and was happy to see a new low.  I felt good about that.  Super good.  A new decade!  As I was in the shower, I reflected on the fact that I will never see a number in the 300’s again.  Even when I was below 300, sometimes with fluctuations and stuff, the scale would show 300-something.  Now that I am more than 10 lbs under 300, it’s unlikely that I will ever see that again.  Each day that goes by sees me farther and father away.

So anyway, I was feeling pretty confident as I got dressed.  I have a few shirts in my closet (I am a jeans and t shirt kind of girl) that fit me okay, and the rest are getting too bit.  I went for my reliable shirt.  I bought 2 of them in different colors maybe 2 months ago.  When I bought them, they were a little tighter around my middle than I liked, but they didn’t look like tents on me so I liked them…even if my belly was more visible.  I grabbed one of these, along with my best fitting pants and belt and got dressed.  I was careful not to look in the mirror, I wanted to get the full effect all at once.  Once I was all dressed, I presented myself to the mirror.

I was not happy.  I was all set to look at my reflection and be impressed.  I’ve been wearing sweats all weekend because I’ve been working on lots of cleaning and organizing jobs in my house.  I was ready to see something fab. 

My shirt…looks terrible.  It now looks like a tent.  I gathered up about 2 inches of it in the back and it looked better.  I let go…and the tent was back.  I now am down to almost no clothes that look okay on me.  The problem is the next size down is a little too tight.

I am not liking this in between sizes thing.  I am doing this to look better in my clothes, not worse!  Now I need to find some clothes that don’t look like total crap on me, buy them, and then have them look like total crap on me after 8 weeks or so.

So, I guess it’s a victory, but it didn’t feel as good as I expected.

Cutting off the past

Yesterday I noticed that I was having to hike my pants up again all the time.  This pair is my smallest pair by the numbers, but they are pretty stretchy and I have another pair that isn’t so that other pair feels tighter in the waist but it’s baggy on the butt so I don’t really like wearing them.  The pair I am wearing fits nicely on my hips and thighs, but not so much on my (non) waist.  My fat gut sort of stretches the waistband and then they want to fall down.  It’s really annoying.

You may remember me mentioning that I dug up a belt in my closet and started using that, and it’s been working really well…until yesterday.  I should have taken a picture of this belt.  It was a cheapie that came with a pair of shorts I bought a while back, and it looked like it had been through the ringer.  The “leather” had broken around the notch that I always used, leaving the whole thing to be held together by this little bit of cloth backing on the back of it.  It was really sad looking.

Recently, I moved it up to the next notch, which was also all torn up and held together only by the backing.

Yesterday, about the time I hitched my pants up for the 500th time, I decided it might be time to move up another one.  It was both good news and bad news.

The good news is, I think my waist is coming out to play a little bit.  Also, the next notch is whole and I have never used it, and I have had this belt for 18 months.

The bad news is, with my waist coming back, it means I will have to unbuckle the belt and stuff to pull my pants down to go pee (which I do often because of all the water!).  I guess having a wasit is a fair trade. 

But it meant one more thing.  It meant that I had to cut the rest of the belt off.  I can’t leave the rest of it hanging there by a thread…I have to cut if off clean.  No turning back. 

I went and got a pair of scissors and looked skeptically at the inch between the holes.  Could I really tighten my belt an inch?  Then I thought about having to pull my pants up all the time…and snipped it off without further thought or ado.

I put my pants on and my belt seemed alarmingly short.  I sucked it in a little and buckled it up.  It’s snug but comfortable, and it holds my pants up.  I guess that’s all I can ask for.

Which brings me to my next point.  I have heard that the fat around your belly/waist is the last to go, is that right?  I have noticed some of that but most of what I notice is in my face, and I know I have lost an inch off my thighs.  After a 30 lbs loss one would hope to have lost some girth around the middle, but man that seems to be taking a long time.  So, do you think that’s true?

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